There’s something amazing about being in a new city. Even when you’re there for work, getting out to explore a new city is such an invigorating experience. Being in New Orleans for the past week was incredible. I went into the experience feeling a little anxious and a little overwhelmed at the prospect of spending a week with coworkers, at a convention, over 1000 miles from home. But, you know me, I adjust pretty quickly.
If you ever make it to New Orleans, I implore you to venture outside of Bourbon St. and wander down to Frenchmen St. So much music and life, it’s almost overwhelming. Almost. It also seems apropos that while, in New Orleans, I befriended a coworker’s sister, who just happens to be a jazz singer. With a name like Donna Singer, you have to check her out.NOLA There’s something amazing about being in a new city. Even when you’re there for work, getting out to explore a new city is such an invigorating experience.
5 a.m. – Wake up, turn off alarm, and pretend you don’t actually have to get up. Five seconds later, force yourself out of bed and stretch. Your dog stretches with you. He feels your pain. No, actually, he doesn’t care. What he does care about is you walking him. Now. Go through your morning routine: empty your bladder, brush your teeth, wash your face, change into yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Consider how much yoga you actually do in said yoga pants (none) and decide to call them “dog walking pants” from now on.
5:15 a.m. – Quickly walk your dog around the block. Scan the shadows for stranger danger and early bird (or night owl) prostitutes. Mentally kick yourself for thinking that waking up at 5 am so that you can commute to a job in DC was a great idea. The opportunity! The Experience! Ugh….
5:30 a.m. – Rush to get ready for work back at your apartment. Pour a bowl of the same cereal you’ve been eating for three months straight. Make a mental note to buy different cereal next time you go grocery shopping, then make an actual note on your shopping list pad on the fridge. Check your pantry for signs of THE MOUSE. Mentally curse THE MOUSE and roll your eyes at how you haven’t evolved to have laser beams shoot from your eyes yet. Cyclops was one lucky bastard.
6:00 a.m. – Drive to the train station listening to NPR. Momentarily think about how adult you are for listening to NPR. Look at you, being cultured and informed. Immediately forget all of that as some ass-hat cuts you off. It’s freaking 6 a.m.! Where does HE have to be that’s sooooo important? Look down at the clock and press down on the accelerator….you’re never going to find a parking space now.
6:10 a.m. – Circle around the block for the fifth time. WHAT. THE. FUCK. How is it that there are no parking spaces when you arrive a mere 5 minutes later than you usually do? How does that even happen? Where did all of these people come from? Eventually park in a spot that looks like a spot, but could really not be a spot if a parking enforcement officer decides to be a dick that day. Please don’t let the parking enforcement officer be a dick today….please.
7:25 a.m. – Enjoy having the double train seat to yourself until someone sits down. Briefly glance up to see if said someone is an attractive male. Quickly look down upon finding out that he is not. Continue reading your book.
7:30 a.m. – Reach the end of the novel you are reading for your book club. Muster up every nerve to not cry on the train. MUST. NOT. CRY. OVER. STUPIDLY. WONDERFUL. MAGNIFICENT. BOOK.
7:45 a.m. – Speed walk to your office building after fighting your way through the subway and up the escalator. Does this ever get any easier?
8:15 a.m. – Drink first (technically second cup since you made coffee at home before you left) cup of coffee at work. Proceed to go through your emails and calendar to figure out what to work on.
9:00 a.m. – Drink second (third) cup of coffee. Check Facebook. Scroll through your Twitter feed. Minimize windows and pull up a random Word document when someone walks by.
10:00 a.m. – Search Google for images of cats eating sushi. Email coworker picture of cat licking sushi. Ask if sushi lunch is still happening.
10:30 a.m. – Accept appointment invitation for sushi lunch via Outlook.
11:45 a.m. – Meet coworkers at the elevators for your sushi lunch. Spend the next hour joking around and thoroughly enjoying your coworkers/friends. Make a mental note to try to keep in touch with them when you leave this job. It’s only been 4 months, but damn this commute. Voice your concern about how long you can stay here after another coworker brings up the same issue: “I mean, I don’t have a baby crying for food. Why the fuck am I getting up at 5 a.m.?” Mentally pat yourself on the back when they laugh at your joke. Continue laughing and joking around. These chicks rule.
1:00 p.m. – Pretend to read the budget report the CEO emailed you yesterday. Scroll through Instagram on your phone. Play your turn in three Words with Friends games. Wish you had started using the cheat website. What word can you make from GVUAAI?
2:00 p.m. – Make a mental note to masturbate tonight. Wait, will you be too tired? Sigh when it dawns on you that you just scheduled a date night with yourself and almost backed out due to exhaustion and possible headache.
3:50 p.m. – Shut down your computer and pack up your things. Attempt to contain the sheer excitement you have just knowing you get to go home and do nothing for two whole days. The weekend – what a lovely concept. Remind yourself to rewatch an episode of The Leftovers – the one with him running.
4:30 p.m. – Sit on the train and realize you didn’t bring another book to read. DAMN. IT. Listen to your iPod and pretend to fall asleep.
6:30 p.m. – Eat dinner alone, while sitting on the living room floor, using the coffee table. Debate ordering a movie and settle for Netflix in bed with a glass of red wine.
11:45 p.m. – Fall asleep and dream of about Justin Theroux.
It’s as if Zac Posen thought to himself, “Hmmmm, how would Makea dress if she had her dream life?” , and then proceeded to design this collection. The Spring 2015 RTW Zac collection is lovely and understated in the best way. With bright separates that are emboldened by geometric prints and watercolors, this collection embodies the springtime’s promise of freshness. The sharp separates are the ultimate in downtown girl chic. I would happily wear it all. I’d be the best-dressed lady in line at Target. Hands. Down.
Spring is often a time of fresh flowers, rain showers, bad movies, and ill-fated online dates. What’s not to love? There’s never a shortage of well meaning friends who want you to “get back out there” and “meet your destiny”. Well, this time around, you’ll be ready for them. Debuting their best attempt at making you just about as undateable as possible, J.Crew presented their Spring 2015 Ready to Wear collection in all its washed out glory. Culottes, boxy jackets in tea stained whites, oatmeal brown separates, and varying shades of denim make up this collection that is half fashionable half EH.
Boxy jackets are a hard look to pull off and rarely do you see it anywhere south of Manhattan. And the culottes, well, they’re in full force. I am not completely opposed to culottes, I just wish they weren’t so persistent in their existence. Per say. That being said, I love the stripes and maritime elements that popped up here and there in the collection. Everyone (yea, everyone) seems to equate springtime with sailing and boats. What is it with preppy people and boats?J.Crew and the Tale of the Sundrenched Culottes Spring is often a time of fresh flowers, rain showers, bad movies, and ill-fated online dates. What’s not to love?
Anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock for the past couple of weeks knows that fashion’s fickle cycle has circled back to the brooding days of yore. Gone are the extravagant neon colors and prints so peppy you just want to smack them. Replacing them is the reserved, more contemplative wallflower. In all it’s existential life questioning glory.
And even better, it’s just in time for fall.
So Angelina and Brad finally got married last weekend. All the other weddings that occurred this year no longer matter. You can all go home, you’re no longer needed.
I am not even going to pretend that I don’t care about the Jolie-Pitt clan, cause we all know I do. I literally shrieked with joy when I read the headline while browsing Twitter Thursday morning. With all the depressing news that seems to be coming in a never ending wave of despair and tragedy, it was nice to see something awesome. And, in celebration of their nuptials, I have composed a list of their most stylish moments.
Congrats you two crazy birds!
France Gets All The Cool Weddings So Angelina and Brad finally got married last weekend. All the other weddings that occurred this year no longer matter.